Poseidon

Wow. I remember distinctly thinking about 20 minutes into "Poseidon" that it would have been a better idea to make this script into an animated feature rather than a live action one. On the other hand, even good animated stories take the time to develop characters and make us care about their fates.

With virtually no development of any of the characters, this movie comes across as the ultimate distillation of an action movie into a frantic, non-stop mess. A few minutes later in the screening, I had another thought: what makes a bit of action significant in a story is the build-up to it, and the aftermath, but not so much the sight of the action itself. Wolfgang Peterson, unfortunately, substitutes breathtaking pace for the building of suspense that could have resulted if he had bothered to make us care about the characters, or even if he had made the slightest attempt to get some semblance of meaningful, non-chesseball performances from his actors.

Usually, I go into big, summer movies with low expectations, and I am at least not let down. But Poseidon is so dreadfully off the mark in almost every aspect that was impossible not to laugh--and I was not alone--at what should have been emotionally wrenching moments.

To be fair, it was not all Mr. Peterson's fault. Had he bothered to get a decent draft of the script prior to shooting, he could have avoided most of the trouble this film exhibits. In film schools around the country, and perhaps the world, instructors decry those students who are so gung-ho to get behind the camera and direct that they ignore the story, which should be the building block of the film in the first place. Mr. Peterson, so intent on wowing us with special effects and other technical wizardry, appears to have not the slightest concern for the ridiculous utterances that spew forth from the mouths of his characters. All the more surprising from the director who dazzled us with "Das Boot". Come to think of it, "Das Boot" was virtually devoid of special effects, perhaps because it was a lower budget effort for a fledgling director, and as a result, he was forced to tell a compelling story, one in which we came to care very much for the fate of the trapped submariners. Not so in "Poseidon". As the surviving passengers make their way to the top--er, the bottom--of the capsized ship, they are, one by one, dispensed with by falling debris, walls of water, etc, etc, and the truth is, no one really cares. You would not be at fault if you thought, oh well, that's one less person the rest have to worry about.

And poor Richard Dreyfuss, a veteran who must have simply been desperate for some work, any work. Granted, his character is so poorly drawn that he has little to build upon, but still, I winced during his introductory scene, and found it difficult not to laugh as his life crisis unfolds. Poor guy. What it must be like to have had such a lengthy career, only to be cut off at the knees with a movie as silly as "Poseidon".